Paper Lions
by Runaway Moon
Summary: I was born into a muted light and when Jasper stepped in everything gained vibrancy. He was untraditional, as were his lessons and his affections. What I hadn't realized was that both came with a price. Quid pro quo-something for something. I was in debt and Jasper came collecting. [AU]
1. Pilot

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

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I always wondered if he noticed the quiet desperation that was the undercurrent to all my emotions. Desperation for what, I didn't know. Perhaps it was desperation to be loved, desperation to live, or desperation to be free; I hadn't yet decided. Then again, he was always so stoic it wouldn't be a wonder if he didn't give a damn. In fact, looking at him right now, I was almost certain he didn't give a damn. There was no doubt he could feel my gaze drilling into him, I was in his peripherals after all, but the blonde vampire didn't lift his head from the untouched crossword puzzle in his hands. They were all doing "human activities". Emmett was playing Xbox, Rosalie and Alice giggling over fashion magazines, Esme replacing the flowers on the windowsill, Carlisle looking over bills, and beside me Edward was fiddling with the keys of his piano. Only on Jasper did the casual activity and environment seem unnatural. Finally he looked up and met my eyes, his countenance entirely unimpressed, almost disdainful as he sized me up.

"Tell your human it's impolite to stare."

Suddenly everyone froze. Emmett's videogame was the only thing making noise in the otherwise tense environment. Order had been disrupted. In the Cullen household, that was near unheard of. There was an implied expectation of docility and perfection for these vampires, but Jasper didn't seem to care. He was the anomaly among the family. Edward looked up from his piano. It was no secret that there was an underlying hostility between the two brothers, but he seemed reluctant to say anything. His glare seemed hesitant at best.

"I didn't realize I was staring," I simply offered as an apology, despite the fact that I had been perfectly aware of the fact that I had been very obviously studying Jasper. Just like that everyone resumed their activity, casually continuing onwards as if the scarred vampire hadn't said anything to me─ everyone except Jasper, of course. He took one more disinterested glance around the room before removing himself. It seems as though in his eyes, the occupants of the room weren't worth the trouble of any real emotion. I wondered if that extended to Alice too. My gaze shifted to her and she looked up to meet my eyes with a beaming smile before returning to her fashion magazines. I had expected her to have some kind of reaction given her mate's outburst, but she seemed as unperturbed as ever.

Edward nudged my shoulder, "I think it's time to take you home now, love."

I didn't bother arguing. It wasn't as though I had a strong desire to stay, but I wasn't necessarily thrilled at leaving on his command either. Regardless, I got up and said my goodbyes to everyone in the room, wearing the delighted smile they expected. Our car ride back was filled with idle chatter about our impending wedding. Which color scheme do you like best? Who should we invite? What do you think about the seating arrangements? I wondered when our conversations became so shallow. There had been a time where we talked about real things, I was sure of it. However, trying to remember the beginnings of our relationship was like looking through a foggy lens. The only things I really remember were a constant mix of dazzling smiles, breathless kisses, and constant adventure.

"Did you like the lily arrangement?" I hummed in approval, earning a breathtaking smile from Edward. An errant thought flitted across my mind, reminding me of my grandmother's funeral and the overwhelming fragrance of flowers that assaulted my senses as my 8 year old self surveyed the lilies decorating the casket. I shivered at the memory. Edward glanced over at me and gave me a concerned glance before cranking the heat up in the car and reaching back to hand me his jacket.

.:.

My nails were wet with nail polish when my phone started ringing. Cursing, I tried to pick up my phone and put it to my ear without smearing the metallic silver that graced my nails.

"Hey Alice," I greeted while examining the strands of my hair that now were streaked with the silvery nail polish. Just my luck.

"Hey Bella! Just letting you know we'll be there to pick you up in half an hour. Wear your warmest jacket; it's cold out and we'll be playing baseball. By the way, you should really stick to a simple French tip, it's a lot classier than silver." Without giving me time to respond, she hung up.

"Good talking to you too." I grumbled into the phone before getting up, gathering my sweet tea from the porch so I could go back inside to change.

There was a knock on the front door exactly half an hour from when Alice called me and I rolled my eyes at their expected punctuality before hurrying downstairs. As I opened the door, Alice glanced down at my nails, wrinkling her nose in distaste at the fact that they were still silver and not the recommended French tip. I raised an eyebrow at her, daring her to argue with me. Instead, she just clicked her tongue before leading me to Emmett's Jeep where she hauled me up and straight onto Edward's lap. He placed a small kiss on my cheek in greeting.

"Looking tasty there, Bells!" Emmett cheerfully called out from the driver's seat, chuckling enough at his own joke to make up for the other's complete lack of humor. Edward gave a small growl at his brother's antics before giving up and simply sharing an exasperated look with Alice.

I snorted in amusement. That was always one way to break the ice, "Always good to see you too, Emmett."

"You know the drill," Emmett grinned at me as he began to back out of my driveway. Edward's arms wrapped around my waist in an iron clad grip, "Please keep your hands, arms, and legs inside the moving vehicle at all times. No flash photography is permitted. It's gonna be a bumpy ride."

The car lurched forward and quickly cut into the wooded outskirts of Forks, making its way through the barely-vehicle-accessible path before the trees thinned out and we found ourselves in the all too familiar clearing. Edward let go of me and I jumped out from the Wrangler, the rest of the Cullens following suit. Carlisle and Esme were already standing in the center of the clearing, having come separately and both greeted me with a warm smile and hug.

Before anyone had to bother suggesting it, I went and stood by the sidelines, as I always did. The loud booms of ball hitting bat and the unreal speeds they ran at had lost their novelty long ago, so I stopped watching the game and instead watched the players. They all seemed at ease out here, finally allowing themselves to actually indulge in displays of their real speed and power. Admiringly I watched Edward's lithe form bound forward and despite the fact that he was a blur of movement, I still noticed the gazelle-like grace in which his body twisted forward. That same grace seemed to fail him for a second as Jasper appeared beside him, looming over Edward with the baseball triumphantly in his hand. Edward growled for a second before getting up and dusting himself off. Jasper merely stood there and smirked. He glanced over at Alice, who was pitcher, and moved to throw the ball back towards her before abruptly changing direction.

There was no time to think or react. I heard the other Cullens cry out and I instinctively lifted my arm to cover my face as the baseball hurtled towards me fast enough to go clear through my skull. There was a thunk as the ball hit the ground and I looked up, ready to thank whichever Cullen it was who had done their usual job in saving me. Instead, my gaze flickered to a fading translucent blue orb that was surrounding me. The Cullens were standing around me and staring with indecipherable expressions.

Jasper took a step forward and his mouth twisted into a warped smile. "Game over."

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 **AN: Alright, there it is. Chapter 2 is going to be longer and coming up soon! Tell me what you guys think. Also, I'm currently looking for a beta if anyone would like to help! Thank you guys xo**


	2. And the Waltz Goes On

I am a child. Perhaps by human and legal standards, I was an adult, but I was struck with the overwhelming realization that to these vampires I was nothing more than an infant. My age and lack of years of experience was something that I'd always been aware of before. However, I'd always just assumed that the Cullens and vampires in general viewed age differently, given how every single one them varied so drastically in years. Otherwise, surely, wouldn't my relationship with Edward, someone who was a hundred plus years, bother them? Clearly I was mistaken.

Their words were garbled through the thick wood door of Carlisle's study and I sat outside listening to the occasional rises in volume. After their initial inactivity at the clearing, the Cullens had suddenly erupted into a flurry of movement, scooping me up and rushing me back to the house in Emmett's Jeep. All of them kept glancing my way, attempting to be discreet but having no such success. The only one who didn't bother sparing me another look was Jasper. It was both confounding and relieving. The second we made it back to the Cullen estate, they rushed up to Carlisle's study and unceremoniously shut the door in my face.

My anger settled deep into my bones, morphing into a feeling almost akin to an itch. I lifted myself up off the floor and grabbed the keys to Edward's Volvo which had been carelessly tossed onto the table after he last used it. Somehow, that seemed to grab the Cullens' attention and the noise prompted them to open the doors to the study and stare at me. They seemed unsure of what to do, so I took the initiative to address them first.

"Typically, it's considered rude to discuss a person when they aren't present." I remarked coolly. Leveling them each with a unimpressed look. Edward stepped forward and opened his mouth before shutting it again. They all arranged their expressions to look contrite. Jasper did no such thing. "Now that we've established that, I'm going to go home. Edward, you can pick up your car tomorrow."

"Bella, love, I'm sorry. We all are. You have to understand that this just took us all by surprise and we momentarily forgot ourselves," Edward pleaded with me. "At least let me take you home."

I couldn't help but feel bitter. Apparently they momentarily forgot that I was supposed to be a member of this family too. "No, Edward. You've all done more than enough tonight."

Hurt spread over his features and he took a step back. Feeling guilty, I threw him a bone. "I just need time to process everything."

"I can take you home." Warily, I looked over at Jasper. He moved forward from his place in the back and came to stand by my side. No one said anything in objection although Edward certainly looked less than pleased. Pausing for a moment to contemplate the stupidity of getting in the car with a man who very well near killed me with a baseball, I nodded.

.:.

It was silent as we made our way back down the long driveway. "Why are you driving me home?"

Jasper didn't bother looking at me as he turned onto the main road. Instead he lifted his shoulders in a miniscule shrug. "I figured I owed you as much."

"Yes, I suppose giving me a car ride home completely makes up for the fact that you almost killed me."

"I didn't." Jasper responded and upon my inquiring glance elaborated, "Kill you, I mean."

"Did you know that was going to happen?"

"No."

I threw my hands up in frustration. "So then what the hell was the point of it all?!"

Finally Jasper looked over at me and then pulled over to the side of the road. Idly I wondered if he was going to follow through and actually kill me now. "Listen, if your… shield hadn't stopped the ball, a Cullen would've. There was no real danger."

I hadn't missed the way that he didn't categorize himself as a Cullen. "Then what was the point of it?"

"I was testing out a theory," He repeated the same gesture from earlier and shrugged. "You may not like it, but the vampire world abides by different rules than the human world. The Cullens have been sheltering you from the reality of it all and because of it they failed to see your true potential. What happened in the clearing? That's no average parlor trick, it's a game changer. All of the Cullens suspected you were capable of it, but they never tested the theory out for fear of what it would entail. You're going to be a powerful vampire, Isabella. That means you're going to catch the eye of quite a few covens and because of it, you need to be prepared for vampirism. Covens will try to use you for their personal gain. I'm teaching you to save yourself."

At his last words, he gave a wry smile as though he were enjoying some kind of inside joke. I thoughtfully leaned back into my seat, mind reeling. Jasper's delivery was harsh and abrupt, but he let me mull over what he said to me in peace and stayed quiet for the rest of the drive.

.:.

"Wake up." A hard voice commanded as my covers were tugged off of me. Cold air chilled my skin and goosebumps emerged. Blearily I opened my eyes to see a blonde vampire looming over me.

"Wha-Jasper? What the hell are you doing?" I scrabbled back into the corner of my bed, embarrassed to be sharing the same space with Jasper especially having just woken up.

"I was bored." There wasn't a hint of amusement or anything else to betray he was joking. In fact, he looked very serious. I wasn't entirely sure Jasper knew what jokes were.

Blinking owlishly, I stared back at him for a moment. "You were… bored?"

"Yes, that is what I said, wasn't it?" He snapped at me. "Now get up, you've been sleeping for hours. It's about time you did something productive."

I was confused enough not to question him. "I only got 5 hours of sleep."

He looked at me impatiently. "That's a long time to be laying around motionless."

This was perhaps the most I'd interacted with Jasper outside of our car ride last night and I didn't know how to react to his complete lack of boundaries and knowledge of human needs. I wasn't particularly thrilled to have him in my room and waking me up but on the other hand I was curious about him. Stretching, I stood up. "Since you aren't too well versed in the art of basic human requirements, I'll let you in on a little secret. Humans are supposed to get at 7 hours of sleep a night. Stay here, I need to freshen up."

Without sparing him another glance, I made my way to the bathroom. It was disconcerting knowing that the one Cullen I knew nothing about was in my bedroom. If anything, I had been under the impression he didn't particularly like me, but perhaps that was just the way he was. _I'm teaching you to save yourself._ The words echoed in my head and I couldn't help but wonder about him. After splashing more water on my face I returned to the room. Jasper was rummaging through my stuff; he briefly looked up at me with my copy of _Wuthering Heights_ in his hand before tossing it into the trash bin. "You have garbage taste in literature."

I was torn between being affronted and amused. I picked it up out of the trash can. "Good thing I don't exist to please you then."

"You're right," he said thoughtful. "That's for Edward. It explains all the Shakespeare on your nightstand."

My mouth opened and closed itself on its own accord. How dare he? Not only was I furious at the implication of that, but I was taken aback as well. I'd grown used to the Cullens' gentle words and their considerate way of approaching topics. I hastily grabbed the underwear he was rifling through before slamming the drawer shut. "I don't belong to anyone."

He merely raised an eyebrow in response before grabbing one of the pairs of underwear again that I had taken from him moments prior. "I can imagine you'd look good enough to eat in this one."

My cheeks warmed as I looked into his dark eyes. When I spoke, my voice had rose several octaves. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me fine, Isabella, don't play daft. It's unbecoming." With a wave of his hand he dismissed my indignance before turning and looking through the papers on my desk. "A B+, Isabella? I thought you were supposed to be smart."

"Get out." He looked up at me and something flickered on his face. A slow smile spread on his face. Instead of sparing me a response, he grabbed the underwear he had commented on earlier and exited out the window leaving me completely bewildered and annoyed.

.:.

When Edward came in he sniffed the air. He didn't seem surprised to have picked up Jasper's scent, but there was displeasure written all over his face. Instead of commenting, however, he pulled me into his arms. "I'm sorry Bella."

He offered me nothing else. I wondered what exactly he was sorry for─ my anger or his behavior? I took a breath and braced myself to ask him but then he pulled away from me and shot me that dazzling smile. The words died on my lips and suddenly I was hyper aware of the weight of the ring on my finger. Not trusting my voice, I nodded. The troubled expression that had graced his face melted away.

"I'm glad that's behind us. Esme is preparing dinner for you as an apology of sorts, so we'll be going to the house after you get ready. Alice says to wear the grey wool skirt and blue cardigan." He laughed as if to say "oh Alice" before shooting me another one of his grins. I turned away before he could see my frown and mechanically began getting ready. One grey wool skirt and blue cardigan later, I was in Edward's car. My hair was fluffed and pulled in an updo and pearls graced earlobes. A complimentary look that was Alice approved, I thought wryly.

The car ride was silent and when we arrived at the mansion, Edward led me straight to the kitchen where all the Cullens were waiting with smiles. Jasper wasn't there but then I could hardly count him as a Cullen, could I? Cullens were polite and kind, Jasper wasn't. It was odd, and a little disconcerting to sit there and be the only one eating among them but conversation flowed and was pleasant. No one mentioned anything about yesterday or brought up my shield, instead the impending wedding seemed to be the main topic of conversation.

It was only when Emmett was ushering me into the family room, jokingly nudging me and making innuendoes about the honeymoon that I saw Jasper. He looked angry and it made no sense. He could've avoided me, but he stayed there and made sure I saw him and his uncalled for anger. Shouldn't I be the one angry at him? Finally he broke my gaze and swiftly walked out the door, not sparing me another glance. Emmett looked from me to where Jasper was a second prior, seeming conflicted about something before he sighed. Rosalie met his eyes and he seemed to be pleading with her for a second. He looked back at me, seemingly resigned. "Maybe you should go out there and see what his deal is."

"Me?" I asked incredulously. "I barely know him."

Emmett shrugged. "He's been moody with us since last night; you'd probably have a better chance at seeing what crawled up his ass."

"Uh… alright," I murmured. I wondered if it had anything to do with our conversation that we had last night. Emmett squeezed my arm gently. Stepping outside, it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dark and then I saw him, mostly able to distinguish him by the way his pale skin seemed to glow under the moonlight. He seemed to be waiting for me as he stood by the edge of the river all the way by the edge of the forest. I started walking towards him, hesitant and unstable in the heels that I'd somehow gotten convinced to wear. I expected him to come and meet me but instead he remained where he was, making me reassess my previous assumption that he was waiting for me. Surely he wouldn't have remained in plain sight if he wasn't? Finally I approached him and stood next to him, staring out at the river.

"Look who decided to join me," he muttered. I turned to look at him in confusion. His brash and offensive manner had become expected, but he seemed almost hostile this time around.

"What's your problem?" I huffed.

"You're pathetic," was all he said as he took out a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lit it. Before I could respond he turned and advanced on me. "Look at you, you've morphed right back into their play toy. If you keep that up, you'll never make it as a vampire."

"What the hell is it to you?!" The exclamation burst out before I could stop it.

"You could say that I have a stake in your afterlife." Jasper's tone was dry. Briefly I wondered if he was serious, but then he continued. "Listen, I don't particularly care for that shield of yours, it's guaranteed to reappear again once you turn into a vampire. There wasn't anything about that to galvanize my interest in you. What did the trick was when you showed that you're not just a doormat and finally stood up for yourself. For a second you seemed more than a doll, but this? This is pitiful. You're nothing more than a mindless puppet. This morning and last night I caught a glimpse of Isabella Swan, but now you've transformed yourself back into the Cullens' weak little pet Bella."

I took a step back, unsure how to process his ruthless words. He blew out smoke and I coughed. "Can you stop that? It's bad for the human here."

He barked out a cold laugh. "It doesn't matter, you're going to die soon enough anyway."

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 **AN: There you have it, chapter 2! I'd like to give a special thanks to my lovely beta kimmy397! Anyhow, tell me what you guys think. Teasers for chapter 3 are available to those who ask. xo**


	3. Rules of the Game

"You're not Edward." I said flatly as I opened the door to the Volvo. The tinted windows had prevented me, and the rest of the student body, from actually seeing who was inside, but we'd all learned to assume it was Edward. It should've been Edward. Instead, Jasper sat in the driver's seat with a blank expression. It had been a week since he spoke to me by the river.

"So it would seem." He brushed me off. I debated on just shutting the door and running in the opposite direction before I sat down in the car with a resigned sigh.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

He ignored my question and started to drive. Instead of driving towards my house or the Cullen's house, he drove in the completely opposite direction. "I'm giving you a chance to redeem yourself."

"I have nothing to prove to you." I snapped. It was easy to get angry at Jasper, he was brutal and honest and the heels I was wearing were pinching my feet. He didn't need to know how right he was and he didn't need to know that the weight of his words had settled on me almost as heavy as the diamond ring gracing my finger. In reality I probably didn't even need to say anything. There was no hiding from the empath. I settled back into my seat, trying to brace myself for whatever insults he was ready to hurl at me today. He must've picked up on the mood that I was in because he made no comment about how I very much so had something to prove to him and instead shot me a smirk.

We drove out to the cliff side overlooking the beach and the scene was reminiscent of when I first went cliff diving in La Push. Jasper got out of the car and I followed suit, unsure as to why he brought me here.

"Well?" I prompted.

"Jump."

He couldn't be serious. And yet, looking at him I knew that he absolutely was serious. He was slowly stalking towards me; my steps backwards were matching his steps forward until I was standing precariously by the edge. "Jump."

"Fuck you, Jasper." I spat. "Is this some kind of test to see if I speak up for myself again? Because there you go, there's my answer. You're psycho."

His dark eyes didn't waver or look impressed. I was waiting for him to decide that I had in fact redeemed myself by refusing to obey his ridiculous command but instead he just got closer until I had nowhere else to step back towards. Suddenly I was free falling. The very ground beneath me had slipped away and then icy waters enveloped me and filled my lungs. Sputtering and coughing, I bobbed back to the surface. "Jasper, help! I can't swim in water like this!"

He continued to impassively stare at me from the top of the cliff. "Save yourself."

Disbelievingly, I continued to bob in the water for a second before being dragged under again and realizing that he indeed was not coming down to save me. My vision swam and I pushed up to the surface again, gasping for air. Anger propelled me forward and I strained to keep myself from being submerged again. My muscles ached as I finally made it to the beach and my clothes clung to my body, cold, wet, and heavy. The shoes that I had been so annoyed with earlier were lost somewhere in the depths of the water and I wondered if one day they would resurface in the waves on the beaches of California. Hysterical laughter burst through my lips.

"Good job, Isabella." He congratulated me softly. I wanted to smack him but I was shivering so badly that no other movement was possible. Jasper shed the jacket he was wearing and put it around my shoulders, seeming to finally understand at least one human need of mine.

Pride took the edge off my anger. I hadn't needed anyone else to come and save me. The meaning behind Jasper's little lesson was clear, but I was still bitter that it involved all but pushing me off the edge of a cliff to prove the point.

Once we were safely back in the confines of the car I checked my phone, which had been conveniently left in the cup holder. There were about a dozen missed calls from Edward and I could only imagine what his reaction must've been. There was no doubt that Alice had seen it and told him. The phone started ringing again and suddenly the silence in the car with Jasper seemed even preferable to Edward's hysteria. I ignored the ringing and instead cranked up the heat in the car.

Jasper briefly looked over at me, but otherwise didn't comment on my behavior. "You seem to be sorely mistaken as to what life as a vampire entails."

I wondered when Jasper decided to be my self-appointed guide for the afterlife. Instead of responding, I remained quiet in the passenger seat. That was one thing I could readily admit he was right about and admitting he was right seemed painful to do so instead I opted for being quiet. Edward and the rest of the family rarely ever spoke to me about the nitty gritty details about being a vampire. Of course, I knew the basics, but I wasn't stupid enough to assume it was as simple as that.

"Here you are, signed up for an immortal life you know nothing about with a man you know nothing about and a family that has made sure that you're so completely spineless as to make sure you refer to them for every decision you make. There's nothing pretty about being a vampire and while the Cullens think they can protect you from real vampirism, they're just setting you up for failure when you finally are turned."

"I know Edward." I pathetically answered, knowing that he'd be angry that was the detail I chose to pay attention to. Hell, _I_ was annoyed, but these talks I'd begun having with Jasper… I wasn't so sure that I liked them. They all seemed to follow a similar pattern, Jasper would harshly lay out the facts in front of me and I'd keep quiet and listen, pretending they weren't destroying the only world I'd come to know. It pained me to admit that he was probably right. If I could hardly deal with the brutal honesty that he kept throwing at me then how did I expect to survive the vampire world?

Jasper's expression reflecting his disappointment and he leaned over and opened the door for me, effectively signaling me to get out. I hadn't realized we'd already arrived at my house or that Edward was standing on the porch. I flinched at the raw fury that seemed to be radiating off him but steadily made my way over, listening to the car speed away.

Instead of commenting on my lack of responses to his phone calls or the fact that Jasper just drove off with his car, he wrapped a blanket around my shoulder. "You're not hurt, are you?"

My limbs ached and exhaustion made the edges of my vision fuzzy. "No."

.:.

"I worry about you." Edward brushed the hair from my face as his arms wrapped around me, a thick blanket between us.

"Honestly Edward, there's no need to fuss. I got some rest and I'm fit as a fiddle now." I reassured him.

He leaned back to look at my face before pressing a soft kiss to my forehead. He hadn't stopped asking if I was alright since I first arrived home, clearly waiting for some breakdown of sorts. With a startling intensity, Edward quoted, "Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs."

"And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love." I smiled at him to reassure him before curling deeper into his chest. That was how Edward and I were; we spoke in poetry and iambic pentameter. Our time was filled with lingering kisses, sweet declarations of love, and soft caresses to the skin. There were no harshly uttered words, daring challenges, or cold truths. Instead there were metaphors, rhymes, and a sick sort of inadequacy that settled deep into my stomach. _I didn't drown; I'm not as fragile as you think!_ I wanted to scream at him. He'd been coddling me ever since I came back from the cliffs and while I knew it was good intentioned, I was starting to feel a noose tighten around my neck. Speaking about it would do no good though, it would only make Edward angry and he'd go a back to playing the part of the wronged lover and brother. Things were simpler this way.

.:.

Sunny days made me euphoric. Wearing a light pink sundress that made me feel like I was back in Phoenix again, I glanced outside. It was cloud-free and noticeably Cullen free. Today was a beautiful combination indeed. I started my day off by stepping out to the backyard to barbecue so I could start grilling, as was only fitting on such a day. Nothing could dampen my mood, not the fact that the air was a little chillier than it should be given the sun was out, and not even the faint sparkle I saw hidden behind the branches. I waved my spatula in the direction of the sparkle, "I never pegged you as a voyeur."

I continued to hum as the blonde vampire stepped out, his skin mutedly glowing. He probably hadn't been trying all too hard to hide because I had no doubt that if Jasper didn't want to be seen, he wouldn't be.

"I never pegged you as…" He waved a hand in my general direction as if it explained something. I raised an eyebrow at him. Jasper didn't seem to be someone who was often at a loss for words. An unexpected wave of pleasure surged through me as I entertained the thought that me, the human, was able to leave a vampire reeling, particularly Jasper. It was perhaps an over exaggeration, but an entertaining thought nonetheless.

"Did you want some? I'll be sure to keep the meat extra rare for you." I teased, momentarily unsure if he'd find the joke distasteful as the rest of the Cullens, sans Emmett, would.

A slow smile crept up on his face. It wasn't particularly friendly or good humored, but it was something. "Are you offering to put yourself on the grill for me?"

I rolled my eyes and tapped his forehead with my spatula. Anger flashed across his face before he seemed to get hold of himself. Perhaps I had overstepped my boundaries, but he'd done a whole lot of that since he started hanging around, so I figured it was only fair. A wry kind of amusement replaced his irritation instead. "You have to decide Jasper, helping prepare me for vampirism will go nowhere if you eat me first."

"Perhaps the latter would be easier." He muttered.

I grinned. "Perhaps it would, but you've never really struck me as the type to take the easy way out."

He shrugged. "If it's convenient and suits my purpose, sure I do."

"But don't you have some kind of unshakable set or principles or something that that goes against?" I questioned as I continued to grill. "Isn't that what the point of our time together is about? You instilling some kind of morality in me that helps me better prepare for the tumultuous vampire life that's to come?"

"I'm trying to help you prepare for the afterlife; morality has nothing to do with neither my intentions nor my lessons. Principles are nothing but a set of standards the people hide behind. Principles are about lying what about what you stand behind that. I'm not teaching you to lie, you're already better at it than you've given yourself credit for; I'm teaching you the rules of survival."

"Isn't the fact that you're stepping in and teaching me something the others won't considered some kind of moral high ground? Besides, I don't think what you're saying is true. There wouldn't be any moral people in the world if people didn't actually hold true to their principles."

He shook his head. "For me to be placed on some kind of moral high ground, you make the assumption that my intentions are wholesome. I have my own reasons for helping you. And why do you keep equating principles to morality? The two aren't the same thing. Hypothetically, if someone managed to stick with their principles in all aspects of life, that doesn't guarantee that those principles are aligned with common standard for morals."

"What are your intentions then?" I curiously asked as I mulled over what he was saying. "They may not be the same thing, but they're inherently related. You're talking about these things like morality and principles as if you don't have any, but I don't believe that's true. You can't survive for an eternity without standing for something, otherwise you'd go mad."

Jasper ignored my first question. "I have a loose set of standards that I choose to live by when it pleases me and that's enough for me. Morality is of no consequence, it's merely a subjective term that people use when someone does something they don't agree with whether it's right or wrong."

"That can't be true. You must have something keeping you grounded, whether they're principles or some great cause. For you to have such a view on principles and morality, you must've been jaded pretty early on. People who live forever wouldn't last too long if they didn't have something to live for." Jasper's eyes tightened in response to what I said, alerting me to the fact that something I had mentioned had rang true.

"And what of you, Isabella? What do you suppose you're going to live for once you've been turned?"

"Edward," I said confidently. If only lying to an empath were that simple. My voice may not have faltered and my face may have remained resolute, but my emotions wavered for a moment. Jasper knowingly looked at me. Instead of commenting though, he watched me as I finished grilling, wondering how exactly the conversation took the turn it did.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry if there are any mistakes in this, I didn't have time to put the chapter through my beta! Anyhow, here it is. Tell me what you all think of Jasper and his methods. Was Bella too easy on him? Thank you guys for reading! xo**


	4. More than Kin, Less than Kind

.:.

Edward remained oddly silent as Jasper stood in front of him, my arm in his grip. I was confused. The bronze haired vampire hadn't been able to stand the mere mention of Jasper's name recently and here he was, showing up unannounced at school after graduating last year; I expected more of an outwardly furious reaction from Edward. Everyone walked by us and I could pick up faint whispers of curiosity, wondering what Jasper Hale was doing back at school and why on earth he had me by the arm. Alice stood beside Edward, having been brushed off with the same amount of contempt that Edward had been. None of it made any sense to me, but I was secretly pleased that Jasper had showed up. After he had proved that we could have civil conversation, I found myself growing increasingly curious as to when the next time I would see him would be.

"We'll be outside." Jasper said. He seemed to have said it to annoy them rather than appease them. All eyes were on us as we exited the cafeteria. Carefully I extracted myself from his grip. I didn't like the way he was pulling me along, my pace somewhat slower, leaving me lagging behind him. With quick steps, I caught up so I was walking beside him. He looked at me, his expression mildly pleased.

With a grand wave of his arms, he gestured for me to sit on the wet bench. It was very distinctly un-Cullen like, as were most things he did. The Cullens were as pristine as they came, and that included avoiding getting their pants wet after sitting on wet benches. Unceremoniously, I plopped down. Good thing I wasn't a Cullen yet. Jasper sat down beside me, placing his hand on my knee. It was oddly comfortable, not that I was going to tell him that. Instead I just shot a questioning look at him.

"You're warm." He offered as a sort of explanation, lips curling.

I shrugged. "So is Lauren Mallory. Shouldn't you go cuddle her then?"

His expression contorted into disgust. "The only time I'd touch her for warmth is if I was tearing her throat out and then drinking her blood."

"That's gross, Jasper." I wrinkled my nose. "Besides, that's wrong. She has family and friends who would miss her."

"So does everyone. Why should I pick and choose my prey? Lauren Mallory has a family, but so does the unknown victim in Seattle."

"Hypothetically," I stressed, "if you were to kill someone in Seattle, wouldn't you pick someone who… I don't know, was a criminal of sorts?"

He looked unimpressed. "And follow Edward's moral conduct of when he left the Cullens diet? No, everyone has their own crimes. Who am I to take a life based on some kind of self-perceived moral superiority? Lauren may not be a killer but she's guilty nonetheless. Aside from that, the existence of morals is just a personal choice. It's just a façade that's humanities way of protecting itself. It's the highest form of hypocrisy. I'd be hiding behind a blanket of lies if I pretended killing one person was better than killing another. Why should I inconvenience myself by killing someone in Seattle when a perfect victim is right there?"

"Morality is part of humans' instinctive makeup. We exist as a cooperative species, living in groups rather than isolation. The groups of people who were more inclined to cooperate with each other increased their chance at survival in our evolutionary past. Our moral intuition exists simply because it was statistically favored in the past so assuming it's a 'human created' phenomenon is wrong." I argued. I'd been thinking a lot about morality since our last conversation and it felt good to finally get my point out there. Jasper looked mildly proud as he took a strand of my hair in his hand and twirled it around his finger.

"That's where you're missing the main point… vampires aren't humans, Isabella."

I leaned back, trying to wrap my head around what he was telling me. Obviously I'd always been aware of that, to an extent, but I hadn't really realized what that entailed. Being around the Cullens made me assume that most vampires still lived by the same ideals they had when human, except for the few exceptions such as James and Victoria. It was easy to be under that impression when their mannerisms were so human, but perhaps it was only the Cullens. It made me wonder how much of their natural vampire side the Cullens were repressing if the difference between humans and vampires was so significant.

"Why do you stick to an animal diet if you care so little about the lives of humans?"

"It's only out of necessity." After a minute it became clear that he wasn't going to expand on that. Even though curiosity was gnawing at me, I dropped the subject. Jasper wasn't really the type I could eventually coax the answer out of.

The bell had long since rang. It would seem that I wasn't going to the rest of my classes today. "You said Lauren Mallory was guilty. What did you mean?"

"Surely you know the way Forks works by now," Jasper laughed. "The second they saw us together the rumor mill got started. Lauren had some particularly nasty things to say."

Suddenly I was scrambling back from him. It was pointless in the sense that no one was watching us anymore, but I was angry all the same. "You knew what they were saying and yet you still continued to touch me like that!"

"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy it." Jasper brushed off my concerns before tugging on my arm and pulling me back to him. My cheeks flamed scarlet. "Why does what they say bother you?"

"Because I'm with Edward and what if they think…" I trailed off, stammering. Jasper just arched an eyebrow at me.

"Didn't you realize that this," He waved his hand in the air, "All of this−the gossip, the speculation, and so forth doesn't matter. Your human life is going to end soon enough anyway, why should what they say bother you? You need to get used to it, Isabella. Your vampire life will be filled with just as much speculation. Vampires attract attention, whether they want it or not."

"Then at least let me enjoy my last human days without the extra speculation." I snapped.

Jasper was back to looking unimpressed. It was a wonder his face wasn't stuck in a permanent mask of it. "The moment you decided to start associating with the Cullens your life became a spectacle to these people. Don't go pretending that this is anything new. You're not concerned about what people think, you're concerned about Edward's feelings getting hurt."

"Of course I'm concerned about Edward, he's my fiancé." I glared at Jasper. He knew that wasn't the real reason but he generously allowed me to hide behind my excuse.

"Come on, let's get out of here." He got up from his spot and waited for me to follow his lead. Tentatively I joined him and we made our way to the car.

.:.

I hate Jasper with a kind of passion and depth that I'd never hated anyone with before. Any residual feelings of camaraderie after our conversations had completely dissipated. The result was one cold, soaked (which seemed to be a trend in regards to Jasper's "lessons") human, standing lost and alone somewhere in Washington. My phone was currently in Jasper's possession as was my money, so I was left here ultimately helpless.

"Find your way back home." He had told me. I thought he was done with his stupid and extreme methods of trying to teach me things after throwing me off a cliff. Apparently that wasn't the case. If anything, this "lesson" of his taught me nothing but how to hate an individual with a certain fervor that I never thought possible. There would be hell to pay when I got back, even if I was unsure as to how I would dish out my revenge.

The rain was beating down on me so I hid under the awning of a local bar and briefly considered my chances of getting in. I could go home somehow and be the self reliant person Jasper expected me to be. Or in an ultimate kind of fuck you to Jasper, I could completely ignore him and his lesson and just wait for Edward to find me like he undoubtedly would. If there was a perk to having an overprotective fiancé, it was that. A smug smile lit up my face and I wondered if Jasper was watching from somewhere in the shadows. Decisively, I took step towards the seedy looking bar.

.:.

My giggles were drowned out by the roaring laughter of the drunken patrons of the bar who surrounded me. My words were slurred and incoherent at moments, but nonetheless I regaled the men and women sitting by me with stories of my dysfunctional family, my move to a rainy hick town, and a protective fiancé. As far as ideas went, this had been a great one. I knew that Charlie was safe at home, already told whatever lie that Esme had fed him. Of course they would cover for me, given that it was their son who had whisked me away after all. I had no doubt Edward and Alice and everyone else, were doing everything in their power to figure out where I was and that I would soon be whisked away. If only Edward slapped Jasper around a little. Unfortunately, that was only wishful thinking. Even a human like me could see that Jasper would easily best Edward. Kill joy.

Nonetheless, I suppose I should be thanking Jasper. This was perhaps the most fun I'd had in ages. I'd been right in my original assessment that the bar was seedy, but that allowed me to go inside without the request for an ID. After a few drinks generously given to me by the bartender who seemed to have taken pity on me, my tongue was loosened and I began to talk to the regulars who were at the bar; all of which seemed to take great amusement in my blatant drunkenness and eventually warmed up enough to crowd around close and listen. They kept the drinks coming and a pleasant warmth slowly crept through my veins.

"Tell us more about this Jasper character." One of them laughed. He'd introduced himself as Bart or something along the lines. I grinned at him, pleased by the opportunity to bash Jasper again.

"Like I told you, he always looks like there's something wedged up his ass," I began, eager to insult the blonde haired vampire. It was then that the doors to the bar were thrown open and a cold breeze wafted inside.

"Bella!" Edward hurried over, shooting glares at the people around me before gathering me in his arms. "Thank god you're alright."

He then seemed to realize his surroundings and his brow furrowed as he discreetly took a sniff of me. "You're drunk."

The men and women surrounding us howled with laughter. Bert or Bart or Barry laughed. "So this must be the Jasper character you were talking about."

I clapped my hand over my mouth, trying to contain the laughter that threatened to bubble out. "No no, this one is my fiancé, Edward."

"Could've fooled me." Bernie muttered. Edward was already dragging me away and I hastily waved goodbye to all my new friends. They responded with waves of their own and well wishes before I was thrust outside into the rain.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Edward growled, his hand in a vice like grip on my arm. I took a step back, confused. Of all the reactions I had been expecting, this wasn't it. He was supposed to be mad at Jasper, cursing at him and swooping in to save me, playing his usual role of savior. He was supposed to be fussing over me right now, not leveling me with a cold glare.

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying not to slur the words.

Edward's expression remained cold and severe as he ushered me into the car. "I would've expected this from someone else, but not you Bella. That behavior was foolish and immature. I can't believe that you went into a place like that and drank."

"Alright, dad." I frowned. "Let me remind you that it's your asshole brother's fault I was there in the first place. Besides, what's the big deal?"

He seemed unconcerned at the mention of Jasper's name, which was surprising. Instead he pinched at the bridge of his nose. "You're not you, you don't smell like you, and you're certainly not acting like you."

The rest of the ride back to Forks was spent in a tense silence. My pleasant buzz had all but faded away in light of Edward's fit and a pout settled on my lips. It had been a nice feeling.

We pulled up to Cullen mansion where I could see everyone waiting. As soon as I was out of the car, a warm blanket was draped over my shoulders and I was being ushered inside to where food was waiting for me. A triumphant little smile graced my lips, aside from Edward's tantrum, the whole ordeal had worked according to plan.

Emmett sniffed at me curiously. "Have you been drinking?"

Edward scowled before stalking out the back door and I shrugged, shooting Emmett a grin. "Maybe."

He laughed and ruffled my hair while the other Cullens merely looked uncertain as to how to respond. "Looks like you have a story to tell me!"

.:.

I felt his presence in the room before I saw him. He was lingering at the foot of the bed, watching me intently. Initially, I had thought it was Edward, but the blonde hair was the giveaway. The shadows of nighttime could conceal everything but the telltale glow of his golden hair. He didn't acknowledge that I had woken up nor did he explain why he was absent when I first arrived at the Cullen house. Instead, he continued to watch me as I rested underneath the covers of Edward's bed. He looked almost perplexed.

It was silent for about ten minutes. Jasper didn't strike me as the type to care about something so trivial as to who spoke first, but I still refused to be the one to break the silence. "You didn't do what I told you to do."

"Technically, I did." I responded smugly, wondering if the rest of the Cullens were listening and what they thought about it all. "I did manage to make my way home."

"It doesn't count if you get your vampire boyfriend to save you like he always does." Jasper scowled.

"It was convenient and it suited my purpose." I threw his own words back at him. "You're not the only one who's entitled to be allowed to take the easy way out when it suits you. Consider it as me playing the odds to my favor."

Jasper didn't respond for several minutes. The expression on his face was indecipherable as he continued to size me up. Suddenly a smile broke out on his lips. Perhaps the first real smile I'd seen from Jasper. It wasn't smug or dark or sarcastic. Instead it held genuine amusement and wonder. Jasper never looked more beautiful.

"Perhaps I was wrong." Jasper seemed to murmur to himself, his tone thoughtful. Without another word to me, he exited the room leaving me alone with the remnant warmth of his smile.

* * *

 **AN: I once again didn't have time to put this through my beta, so any mistakes here are my own. Bella has a little spunk in her after all! Tell me what you guys think about the new chapter! Reviews are always appreciated. xo**


	5. The Grand Illusion

.:.

Even the physical bars of a prison were more appealing than this grossly inadequate illusion of freedom. I wasn't stupid. I'd long ago learned how to look out for the tell tale signs of a Cullen hiding in the trees, silently stalking me. To the average human, they would be invisible, but I knew what they were capable of and what to watch for. It was almost insulting to my intelligence that they still thought I couldn't see them. Since Edward had found me at the bar, he'd been overbearingly protective. Smothering me with attention and not letting me leave his sight. He viewed my drinking as a sign of rebellion and cry for help. I no longer saw Jasper. Instead all I saw were the invisible walls of my prison, Edward, and Shakespeare. There was a tightness in my throat and aching in my heart. I was suffocating here. Would my eternity be like this too?

Trapped behind the closed blinds of my room at least gave the impression of privacy, however, I knew that listening ears weren't far away. Claustrophobia had never been a problem for me before, but in this boxy room I'd begun to acquaint myself with the feeling. It was either this or go to the Cullen house where they wouldn't even be discreet about watching me. My phone buzzed with a text and the screen lit up with Edward's name. A frown creased my lips as I opened it to reveal a sweet declaration of love. Some love indeed.

As if on cue, I heard the knock on the front door. I didn't need to look to see who it was; instead I mechanically made my way down the stairs. Perhaps we'd go to the bookstore tonight and peruse the classics section, or maybe it would be a picnic, or even a stroll in Port Angeles.

"Edward." I greeted, looking up at those smoldering golden eyes of his. His fingers lightly trailed along the side of my face, leaving ice in its path. He kissed my forehead lightly before grabbing my hand.

"I figured we could go and take a walk around downtown Port Angeles today. How does that sound for fun?"

Internally, I scoffed. That didn't sound like fun at all. Regardless, I nodded and graced him with a small smile. At least he was trying; I couldn't fault him for that.

.:.

Displeasure was written all over my fiancé's face in a stark contrast to the sheer euphoria on mine. He hid under the shadows of the coffee shop's umbrella while I stood out in the sunlight.

"Alice should've seen this." He grumbled, angrily reaching for his phone to call her no doubt. "Come join me here, love. We'll have to wait until the clouds cover the sun again and then we'll leave."

Victory danced through my veins and my cage walls lifted. I shot him a smile. "No, darling, _you_ have to wait for the clouds to cover the sun."

There was a spring to my step as I turn away from him and walked off. It was perhaps unwise to rock the boat the way I did, given that I had only a few hours of freedom at most, but I really couldn't bring myself to care much. Today held more promise than any other had in weeks, yet more clouds were looming on the horizon, promising to end my free reign eventually. The reminder spurred me into motion; I had to do something that made my temporary independence count, no matter what it was. My time as a human was the grains of sand in an hour glass. Time was not on my side, not today nor tomorrow. Eventually, whether I wanted to or not, I would become a vampire and I'd be damned if I didn't make my last few months count.

.:.

Perhaps there were other ways to act out in rebellion. Queasiness overtook me as I felt the needle against my skin. I had never been particularly inclined to get a tattoo, but I figured that anything I did to my body in this life would be erased once I became a vampire and so it spurred the impulsive idea into action. There had been no time to plan or to book an appointment so I simply crossed my fingers and hoped that it wouldn't turn out to be a mess of garbage painted on my skin after I found a random shop in Port Angeles willing to take me in. Despite my doubts, I couldn't help but be pleased as I looked down at the small design that was currently being tattooed on me.

I'd been torn when it came to deciding but in the end, I chose a small artistically drawn shark. I thought it was pretty and almost poetic. Sharks always moved forward in the same sense that I would have to as my life came to close and my vampire one began. Or perhaps it was just romanticized bullshit. Nonetheless, I was pleased with the way it was turning out. My gamble seemed to be paying off.

When the tattoo artist finished, he instructed me on the basic care of it before I handed him the black visa Edward had so generously given me when we first got engaged. This was the first purchase I was making on it and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to refrain from laughing. The man seemed surprised and accepted the card with wide eyes.

I exited the shop checking the sky and realizing how close I was cutting it, the clouds were lingering dangerously close to the sun and I frowned. Instead of returning to the coffee shop where Edward was no doubt still stuck, I called a cab. Somehow it seemed preferable to the ride back with my fiancé.

.:.

My eyes opened blearily in response to the banging on the door. Groggily, I made my way downstairs before yanking the entry door open. I'd been prepared for Edward, what I hadn't been prepared to see were the rest of the Cullens standing there behind him. My eyes zeroed in on Jasper who was also standing in the back. His gaze met mine, those ochre eyes of his boring into me with a startling intensity. He looked almost curious, but surely that couldn't be right. My breath caught. How long had it been since I'd last seen him? A month?

"Are you even listening to me?!" My attention snapped back to Edward. He had both of my arms in a vice like grip and I furrowed my eyebrows, looking down at the tight hold he had me in before looking back up to meet his eyes. His expression softened and he dropped his hands before pulling me close to him.

"You could have been hurt or taken and then what would we do?!" He lamented. I looked behind him at the other Cullens who all held similar expressions of relief, which I didn't fully understand. Surely they didn't think I was that helpless as to not be able to survive a few hours by myself. My eyes met Jasper's and his lips curled into a smirk of sorts as he took a whiff of the air.

Edward's eyes were narrowed as he pulled away from me. "That smell… what's that smell? Why do I smell ink?"

I'd forgotten just how acute their smelling could be and suddenly I was back to frowning. I'd never intended on hiding my tattoo from him or from any of the Cullens, if anything it was meant to be an act of defiance of sorts, but somehow it seemed wrong to bring it up now. I stared as Jasper as I responded to Edward. "I was writing and my pen broke."

None of the Cullens seemed to believe my explanation, but they politely refused to comment on it. Instead they all made excuses about letting my go back to sleep before dispersing. Edward and Jasper remained. It was silent before Edward finally spoke up. "Would you like me to join you?"

"No," I murmured. "I'm really tired."

He sent a hesitant look towards Jasper before his face contorted into a scowl and he ran off, having no other choice after his blatant dismissal. Jasper and I remained staring at each other in silence. The blond vampire took a step forward, moving to stand in front of me. With slow and deliberate movements he took the fabric of my shirt in his hand before slowly raising it up a few inches revealing the raw tattooed skin underneath. It had been a few hours so the bandage was off, exposing the inked shark by my hip. He looked back up at me before dropping the fabric and slowly backing away. I watched his retreating form as he walked into the woods.

.:.

"He hadn't wanted me seeing you anymore."

I didn't look up from my book as I leaned further back into the chair on the porch. "You never struck me as the type to make excuses, Jasper."

It was silent for a moment before I heard the creak of chair beside me. Sighing, I closed my book and set it on the little table between us. Jasper sat there, looking completely at ease. When he noticed my eyes on him he shrugged. "I was just stating fact."

I rolled my eyes and swatted him lightly with the book. "If you say so."

He ignored me and instead grabbed the book from my hand and idly started tearing at the pages. I glared at him. Before I could protest (although honestly speaking, I'd found the book to be quite bland), he spoke up. "Why'd you pick a shark?"

"Dunno," I shrugged as I yanked the book out of his grasp. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to respect literature?"

"You didn't give a shit that I was doing it. I doubt you even picked the book yourself." He scoffed. I slightly inclined my head in admission to what he said, not willing to admit it out loud. Carlisle had dropped it off earlier at Edward's request. Jasper resumed studying me intently. "But really, you must have a reason."

Nervously I fiddled with the hem of my shirt, briefly lifting it up slightly to inspect my tattoo. "You're going to think it's stupid."

Jasper cracked a smile. "Probably."

With rushed words, I explained the significance behind it. Jasper's expression didn't change throughout my spiel and worry settled on me. I repeated the motion from earlier and shrugged again. "It's all symbolic crap, I guess. Really, I just liked the design."

He remained looking at me, his expression unreadable. When he finally spoke his voice was low and rough and his words hurried almost as if he were uncertain about sharing them with me. "Here's another lesson for you Isabella, you don't need me or anyone else to validate your thoughts and ideas."

Heat flooded my cheeks. I'd been prepared for that mocking smile of his or a condescending laugh, but not the good intentioned words. He was back to staring at me intently and I wasn't sure as to how to respond so I settled on a soft but fervent, "Thank you."

Suddenly I was uncomfortable. Asshole Jasper was something I'd gotten used to at this point and had learned how to react to; however, this side of Jasper was something I was a little uncertain as to how to respond to. He sensed my discomfort and amusement shined in his eyes. Casually he reached over and put his hand on the raw skin of the tattoo. His touch was light and he merely let his hand rest there for a second before he pulled away but I couldn't help but stare at him with wide eyes. I wasn't certain if I was comfortable with this softer, although that was still hardly accurate, side of Jasper or not. As I mulled over the change in behavior, he stood up and small smirk formed on his lips before he went off into the woods.

My tattooed skin felt like fire was dancing all over the surface.

.:.

Edward's lips were pressed together in a thin line. His expression verged on severe for a second and he tried, in vain, to smooth the creases between his eyebrows. His displeasure was nothing new. It had been an almost constant since the little trip to Port Angeles however he wouldn't speak a word about it. Instead, he'd try very hard to keep it in check. Unfortunately he was far less of good actor than he gave himself credit for. It was painfully obvious to me that he was still heated about the events that day and even more so it was painfully obvious to the rest of the population at Forks High. He never left my side, always stalking beside me, but he refused to talk to me. I knew Edward wasn't stupid; he'd long since pieced together what had happened while I had left him for those few short hours.

I'd expected him to be upset, he was never particularly fond of tattoos, but I hadn't expected him to be quite so angry towards me. It was just a tattoo after all. What really threw me for the loop was that he had never once addressed the topic with me. He had yet to even see what it was or where it was on my body. In some ways it felt almost sinfully delightful that Jasper had seen the almost intimate location of my tattoo before Edward had. Of course it wasn't as though Edward hadn't had his chances; he was just disinterested and sexually repressed, resulting in his never seeing that bit of flesh exposed.

I finally decided it was enough when Jessica Stanley came over to greet us and he remained beside me sulking and silent. With a glare on my face, I turned to him. "What's your problem, Edward?"

His eyes were burning and he held my arm in a vice like grip. Suddenly I was uncomfortable. This was too public; too many curious eyes were glancing in our direction. At the same time, it was just as relieving as it was uncomfortable. I'd never seen Edward behave quite like this and something about the presence of other people reassured me. "I could as you the same thing. I've been good to you. I've let you have what you want, always done what makes you happy and yet here you've been acting like a complete child these last few days. Running off places and getting tattoos, getting drunk. You couldn't seem to care any less about our wedding and I'm tired of it, Isabella. You need to get yourself together and start acting like the woman I proposed to. Regardless of whatever bullshit Jasper is trying to teach you, you are a lady first and foremost and your loyalty is to me. Quite frankly, you'd do best to remember that I'm the one you're marrying and not him before you go off on your silly little adventures with him."

My eyes prickled, the tears that were fighting to escape were born of anger more so than anything else. There were many things wrong with what he was saying, all of which I wanted to scream at him but his hands were holding my arms a little too tightly and for the first time I felt painfully vulnerable.

* * *

 **AN: Once again, this has gone unbeta-ed (simply for faster posting time) so any mistakes are mine. Thank you so much to all who reviewed for the last chapter! Normally I'd take the time to individually respond to the reviews, but time has been scarce recently. Anyhow please let me know what you guys think of this chapter! I was suffering from a small bout of writers block, so I'm a little uncertain about the direction it took. xox**


	6. Lips that Lied

.:.

Resolutely, I turned my head away from him, focusing on the wooded area behind the school. Perhaps he was right and I had been childish but that tended to happen when one was treated like a child. His hands had loosened their grip on my arm and from my peripherals I could see that Edward's face was almost apologetic due to the rough hold he had on me, but it did nothing to quell the growing anger. I took a deep breath in effort to get hold of myself─ there was no use in creating more of a spectacle than we already had.

"Bella…" Edward's voice was soft now. If anything he sounded horrified by his conduct.

Turning my eyes to meet his, I raised an eyebrow. I was emboldened by his remorse and despite the fact that my arms were still in his grip, I finally spoke. My message was short and cold. "Yes, you're right Edward. I'm your fiancé, not your doll. It seems you need a little reminder too."

His hands momentarily tightened when suddenly his eyes glazed over and his hold on me slackened. I frowned but quickly took the opportunity to step away from him. Thankfully the warning bell had rung and so the onlookers had dwindled down, allowing me to scope the area. I'd been almost sure that Alice had shown up having heard our spat, yet she was nowhere in sight. My gaze shifted back to the trees. His shape was indistinct and almost undistinguishable, but somehow I _knew._ Realistically, I shouldn't have been able to see him, but somehow I'd caught sight of him and it was the only solution that made sense. With a quick backwards glance at Edward (who remained frozen in place with a faraway expression on his face), I made a beeline towards the woods. My steps were hurried in fear that he'd runaway even though I knew the odds of that were unlikely.

Once I was in the protection of the closely knit trees, I halted upon seeing him. Jasper was standing in front of me, not having moved from where I had initially caught sight of him. His expression was blank, revealing nothing, abruptly making me uncertain. His name rolled off my tongue as a form of greeting. "Jasper."

It seemed that the one word was all it took because his eyes came to life, blazing with some unidentifiable emotion. Despite that, his face remained blank and his tone was indifferent. "You're turning this into a habit now."

"What?"

His lips curled up infinitesimally. "Skipping school."

Without further thought I quickly crossed over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. He was stiff and his hands remained at his side but for a second I could've sworn I felt his head rest on mine. I pulled away, cheeks tinged pink. It had been rather impulsive and now the embarrassment was setting in due to his unenthusiastic response. Despite that, my eyes were playful as I teased him. "You seem to be the root of that particularly problem, both times."

He merely hummed in agreement and we stood in silence for a second more before I resumed talking. "Thank you by the way. It… uhm… thank you."

Suddenly his eyes were boring into me, intense and probing. His entire body tensed for a second and I frowned at the odd reaction. He then seemed to get a hold of himself a wry, almost bitter, smile made its way to his lips. "I suppose you could say I was protecting my investment."

I rolled my eyes. The response was typical Jasper to try to underplay the significance of what he did. I bumped my shoulder against his, laughing. "Just admit it, you like me enough to not want me dead or mangled."

He frowned, this time his expression troubled more than anything else. I chalked it up to him being an emotionally inept (ironically so, given his gift) vampire. He reached out and took me by the arm and I winced as he touched the tender flesh. That caused his frown to deepen and instead he started to lead me by the small of my back. "Come on now, time for another lesson."

"What? I thought we were done with them." He was behaving oddly and it was sending off warning bells in my mind.

"You'd be hopelessly underprepared if that was the case." Jasper rolled his eyes. The words themselves were playful but Jasper's tone was the furthest thing from it.

.:.

Uncertainty and dread settled deep in my stomach. This didn't seem right. I wasn't entirely sure of what was going on, but nonetheless my instincts were screaming at me to leave. We were parked outside a cemetery, the grounds untended to and the area quiet. Jasper had told me to wait in the car until he retrieved me but unease was smothering me. There was something off about this and before I had time to dwell on that further Jasper's figure appeared in the windshield, striding towards the car. The relief I felt was short lived when I looked at his expression. His expression was the same as it had been most of the car ride over here, tense and troubled which had made the car ride less than pleasant. He seemed agitated over some unknown dilemma and whatever it was was making me nervous. There had been a severe mood shift yet I wasn't quite sure when it had first taken place.

He yanked open the car door. "Come on, Isabella."

Hesitantly, I got out and followed his quick pace back into the actual cemetery grounds. It was all rather cliché, looking at it from an unbiased perspective. Nonetheless, that did nothing to quell my discomfort. My steps halted as I caught sight of a casket that had been dug up from the ground. Nausea overtook me as I realized that's what Jasper had been doing while I was in the car.

"Wha-?" The question failed to form on my lips and I dug the heels of my feet into the ground, refusing to go further. Jasper's hand was on my back again, lightly pushing me forward until I came stumbling in front of the casket. The whole point of bringing me out here was becoming overwhelmingly clear. My words were a whisper when I spoke them. "Jasper please."

His eyes were hard as he looked at me. "Open it."

"Why are you doing this?" I refused to move. Jasper paced for a second, unsure of himself.

"Go on, Bella." It didn't escape my attention that he called me Bella instead of Isabella. My mind was whirling trying to process everything at once. I didn't budge and I resolutely jutted my chin up. Jasper looked frustrated and in one swift move he yanked up the top of the casket, the wood groaning in protest.

"Look at it. Accept that this is your reality. This is what you're going to live with." The words came out tinged with madness. Tears sprung into my eyes I took in the body. The embalming process that the body had gone through had long since been rendered obsolete and mold was growing on the decaying face. I was horrified in more ways than one and bile rose to my throat. In an effort to get hold of myself I took big shaky mouthfuls of air.

"That's not my reality, Jasper. That's no one's reality." I backed away from him. "Is nothing holy to you?"

"How do you think you're going to deal when you slip up and take a fresh human life when you can't even look at a damn body? Get out of your little fantasy world, this is what it'll be like. There is no room for weakness. Accept that vampires are base creatures and this is what we do."

"No, it's what you do." I shot back, fists clenching. "You didn't have to go and dig up a body to try to prove a point to me. That's just sick."

He seemed unimpressed. "I did what I needed to. You still haven't opened your eyes to the main reality about vampirism. Death and decay and immorality are the basis of our being, stop letting it get to you."

"Stop letting it get to me?" I asked incredulously. "Be realistic, none of the Cullens behave like that. You just have issues, Jasper. I wouldn't be human if that didn't 'get to me'."

He got angry at the mention of the family. "If only you knew the reality of your precious little Cullens. You don't know the reality behind them, you're just ignorant and naïve."

I ignored him and ran back to the car, suddenly regretting leaving Edward alone at school. Jasper remained in the confines of the cemetery and I slid into the driver's seat, twisting the keys that had been left in the ignition. He could find his own way back. The thought of being in the same space as his sickened me.

.:.

Crying had never particularly been something I was fond of doing. To me, it was a weakness and even though I very much knew that wasn't necessarily the case, it was still something I rarely indulged in. Today however, was a separate matter. Once in the safety of my own house the flood gates opened and hot fat tears streamed down my face. Jasper's car was still parked outside my house and the keys were sitting on my nightstand as a constant reminder of today. If anything, I just wanted to erase the memory of today from my mind. None of the Cullens had called me and for once I was desperately craving their presence. It seemed like some sick joke that they chose to be unconcerned now of all times.

When the knock came on my door, my heart leapt. Everything would be normal. Edward was here and he'd come sweep me up in his comfort and warmth and we'd sit together watching silly movies. Everything would be ok. With hurried steps, I rushed down the stairs. I must've been a sight, my eyes were brimmed red and I was in pajamas, clutching at a blanket wrapped around me. Despite that, I couldn't bring myself to care. I just wanted the safety of the bronze-haired vampire's arms. Unfortunately when I yanked the door open, it revealed that was not the case at all.

"Isabella." Jasper's voice was rough and the agitation in his expression that had been present all day had increased by a tenfold. Before I had time to respond he stepped forward, grabbing my arms and crushing me to his chest. He buried his face into my hair and nothing made sense to me anymore.

"I can't…" He started mumbling and then he stopped himself before continuing on again. "You're driving me crazy. I don't know what to do… I don't know what to do. What's going on with me?"

It shouldn't have been that simple. It shouldn't have taken only his muttered ramblings for me to forgive him but the urgency and desperation in his tone convinced me and suddenly I was melting into his embrace, taking comfort in the tight hold he had on me. As he felt my emotions shift, his body seemed to sag with relief.

Gently he pulled away and closed the front door behind him. Edward's name was now a distant memory in my mind as Jasper's hand cupped my cheek. "Take it off."

Feeling as though I'd been doused with cold water, I stepped away. "What?"

"The ring," he pleaded. "Take the ring off."

Stricken, I looked down at the diamonds gracing my finger. Earlier when I was arguing with Edward I'd been almost sure I'd be taking the ring off, but suddenly I wasn't so confident. Cautiously I studied him. "Why?"

He seemed reluctant to explain but finally spoke after a moment's silence. "I can't… I don't like seeing it on you. It's irrational and making me act irrational and I don't like it."

"Have you ever thought that you ask too much of me?" I asked softly as I twisted the ring on my finger. Did he peg the situation in the graveyard as his irrationality then? I wasn't quite sure that excused him. What he didn't need to know was that I desperately wanted to acquiesce to his request, but wasn't it wrong? Just minutes prior I'd been desperate for Edward's company and now here I was contemplating a move that would symbolically end my engagement.

"Perhaps I do, but please do this for me. Seeing it on you, it's wrong. You're not his." Jasper reasoned. He wasn't the type to beg, so this was a bit of a surprise. His words also sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine, he didn't like Edward's claim on me. Did that perhaps mean he wanted me for himself?

"I don't belong to anyone."

He ran his fingers through his hair before looking at me, exasperated. "I know that, what the hell have I been trying to teach you? Regardless, Edward isn't right for you, you have to see that."

I _did_ see that. How could I have not after his spiel earlier today? Clearly we weren't fit for each other in the way I thought we were, but wouldn't it be wrong to take the ring off without him knowing? It seemed wrong to do it without some kind of talk with him prior to me doing it, but at the same time, I'd already been considering the notion after our argument today. What scared me was that if I did, he would be right. I'd be childish in running away at the first sight of problem, although the reality of it was that these problems between us had been there for a long time now. When I'd accepted the marriage proposal, I'd fooled myself into thinking that perhaps it would be the thing to solve the problems between us.

Jasper seemed impatient at my silence and he stepped forward, taking me into his arms again. He words were soft as he spoke. "There's a reason I don't like his claim on you, Isabella."

His lips descended on mine roughly and suddenly all rational thought left me. His kiss didn't last long, but it spoke volumes. He pulled away and I stepped out of his embrace. His expression was unreadable as he watched me and I had no time to think about the thought that I may have hurt his feelings by stepping away after his display of vulnerability. We remained staring at each other for what felt like an eternity. The silence between us was heavy with the weight of his action and unsaid words. Decisively, I slid the ring off my finger and placed it into the key tray beside me. Jasper's answering smile was brilliant.

* * *

 **AN: I know the revelation came soon but since I've moved back and started school, I figured I might speed up the story a little to keep it going. Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think, I know a lot happened!**


	7. The Fallacy of Gray

.:.

They had no doubt heard my car coming from a mile away but it did nothing to quell the anticipation I felt in the pit of my stomach as I sat in the driveway of the Cullen's house. A week and a half. It'd been a week and a half since I'd seen any of the Cullens and I still wasn't any more prepared. The respite from their constant presence came at a price. The entire week and a half my mind had been whirring with worry, agonizing over their silence. Did they know? Did they hate me? Why hadn't anyone reached out to me? What was going on? It was too well timed for it to be a coincidence, not that I believed the Cullens would leave me to my own devices for so long without some type of prodding.

There was no sense in delaying the inevitable, so with a weary sigh I got up and out of the car. The front door opened even before I had the chance to step in front of it and I was greeted with Esme's warm smile. My nerves dampened at the sight of her open expression. Perhaps I was overthinking things, Esme certainly didn't seem like she knew about anything or that she hated me. Despite my remaining reluctance in entering the house, I was marginally less nervous now.

"Bella darling, it's good to see you," she greeted me with a hug, not offering any indication that both her and her family disappeared without a word. I decided not to push the issue, given that I was going to talk to Edward soon enough anyway.

"It's good to see you too Esme." I smiled in return and she seemed pleased. Her eyes flickered down to my bare ring finger and her eyes widened, lips forming an "oh". Her gaze met mine again and quickly she pulled herself together, seeming uncertain as to how to react.

"Come on now, everyone has been waiting to see you." With a gentle grip she took my arm and led me to the living room. I couldn't tell if it was my nerves and I was imagining the tension, but the air was certainly charged. Immediately my eyes began to seek him out, seemingly on their own accord. He was there too, certainly not in the category of "everyone" that Esme mentioned and not in the category of Cullen either. Jasper remained lounging on the bay window, not even turning to acknowledge me. So that was how it was going to be. Disappointment welled in me and perhaps a little blame, knowing that it was the presence of the other vampires that caused him to be so indifferent. Abruptly a warm comforting feeling enveloped me, a mark of his emotional manipulation. My lips curled up in response. Jasper remained staring out the window.

* * *

 _Jasper's fingers trailed lightly across my skin, leaving burning trails of pleasure in the wake. This was perhaps the most intimate contact we'd had since I'd taken the ring off, but for once I didn't object. I'd been hesitant, given that Edward still didn't know anything of our broken engagement (although, that was hardly my fault, the Cullens had disappeared without word for what had been days now which was both worrying and gratifying. It was not, however, something I tried to think about much when in Jasper's presence) to be overly affectionate towards Jasper and he respected my wishes despite more casually and more frequently giving me innocent touches._

" _Bella, Bella, Bella," he crooned as his fingers continued to glide across my collarbone. He paused for a second, raising his hand and gently caressing above my jugular._

" _You certainly look good enough to eat." He smirked, his eyes dark and glinting wickedly. He certainly looked hungry but this time around I wasn't exactly sure what type of hunger it was. I shifted, momentarily uncertain before swatting him on the nose._

" _Bad Jasper."_

 _His eyes widened in surprise before he chuckled. His laugh was deep and throaty and it made my heart blossom with warmth, doing nothing to ease my current infatuation with him. He'd kept some degree of distance during these last few days, allowing me time to process things, but despite that his visits were frequent when appropriate. My admiration for him seemed to grow each visit. Of course, he was still the same, undeniably and sometimes infuriatingly very Jasper, but there was a certain simplicity to all our interactions now that made things much easier, despite the very un-simple circumstances._

" _I thought it was my job to tell you what was good and bad." Jasper teased._

 _I bristled slightly at the memory of his last lesson before shaking it off. I shrugged at him apologetically, although my expression was anything but. "Sorry, you've been fired. Besides, you of all people should know this whole good/bad thing is outdated. Everything is just a shade of gray."_

" _You seem to regard yourself as quite the philosopher now." He rolled his eyes at me. After a moments silence he looked at me from the corner of his eyes. "_ _Knowing only gray, you conclude that all grays are the same shade. You mock the simplicity of the two-color view, yet you replace it with a one-color view."_

 _My lips curled, unsurprised that he took the bait. "I hardly believe that you of all people Jasper are a firm believer in the existence of good and bad, so perhaps take a step back from this whole devil's advocate thing. I very well wouldn't be sitting here in your company if I believed things were so simple as good and evil. Knowing only gray doesn't stop you from recognizing what's less grey and what is, for lack of better words, grayer."_

" _And why wouldn't you be sitting in my company? What is it that you view as… 'greyer'? Is it the vampirism─ the people I've killed? The fact that you haven't officially broken your engagement? The fact that I'm technically married? Or is it something else?"_

 _It wasn't as though he intended it in a harsh way, it was more so that it was just Jasper's normal brutal honesty, but I couldn't help the sting of hurt and guilt that welled in me at the mention of Alice. Feeling my turmoil, Jasper surprised me by pulling me into his side. Still, he offered me no free-pass, although I suppose I couldn't expect him to as it would be notably un-Jasper to do so, and waited patiently for my answer._

" _I didn't stop to consider which one of those it was." I offered slowly and hesitantly. "To be honest, I haven't really considered the whole Alice thing. Does that make me a horrible person? I forgot about my best friend. It's just… I never really seem to remember that the two of you are married and…"_

 _I trailed off, unsure of what to say, horrified as the truth of the words weighed on me. I was sitting here with someone else's husband and wasn't even attempting to move away._

" _In answer to your question, yes I suppose by typical human values you're a horrible person, not just for that reason either." I scowled at Jasper's blasé response and his features marginally softened before he threw me a bone. "But you have a little idea about the truth behind my marriage to her, Bella. I know that you know, regardless of Edward's insistence, that marriage is a relatively meaningless symbol in the world of vampires. Our marriage is merely a front for convenience sake in the eyes of the vampire world."_

 _I sat in silence, absorbing the information, unsure of what to make of it all. On a certain level, I had known what he was telling me. Perhaps not with the certainty and clarity of what he was telling me, but I'd been around the Cullens long enough that sometimes they seemed to let it slip how differently marriage was perceived in the vampire world. It was difficult trying to stomach what he meant about convenience sake. He seemed to be hinting at them using each other for sexual gratification, but that didn't seem right, he barely ever spared her so much a glance. I couldn't tell if it was just my wishful thinking or not though._

" _You're right, I suppose, I think to a certain degree I've always kind of known that you guys aren't mates, but I'm not quite sure I understand the motivation behind convenience sake." Perhaps that was pushing it, but I figured I was entitled some kind of answer._

 _Jasper smoothed the creases on my forehead, lingering there for a second before reassuring me. "She's not relevant to me in that way anymore."_

* * *

"Love, you're here." I refrained from rolling my eyes at his obvious statement. This was the first time I'd seen Edward since our argument at school and he seemed to be trying to pretend it never happened.

I shrugged uncomfortably before offering an uncertain smile. "I'm here."

He stepped forward, taking me into his arms and kissing my forehead. The rest of the family chorused their hellos from behind Edward and I peeked out around Edward in acknowledgement. They all seemed to be trying too hard to act casual, but everyone's muscles were tensed up despite their casual positions. My eyes narrowed. I wondered for the millionth time why they went missing for a week and a half and if it had anything to do with the odd atmosphere in the room.

"Bella?" Edward questioned. My attention snapped back to him. "What would you like to do today?"

Dread filled me as I realized what I'd have to do right now. Nonetheless, I responded. "Would you like to go on a walk?"

He looked at me, surprised. We didn't normally go out on walks. His lips tugged downwards in a frown before he seemed to catch himself and instead nodded agreeably before sweeping his arm out in front of him. "Let's."

As we exited the house I could feel the combined gazes of all of the Cullens boring into our backs. Edward gently guided me and we leisurely made our way around the property, walking at the edges of the tall, towering forests that hugged the edges of the Cullens' land. The silence between us was awkward and tense and I wasn't quite sure where to begin.

Edward lamely tried to start a conversation. "How's Charlie doing?"

"He's good," I murmured absentmindedly.

"Oh. That's good."

We fell back into silence.

It'd be ten minutes? Fifteen minutes. Finally I sighed, realizing I needed to tell him. "Edward, things between us haven't been alright for a while."

His eyes were wide. "Well… I mean, I know. I'd have to be blind not to see that. I gave you time though, Jasper said you needed a break for a little while, so I stayed away. Did that not help at all?"

My brow furrowed. "You guys were all gone for so long because Jasper told you?"

"Of course, did you think I'd leave so easily otherwise?"

I was suddenly confused. Why hadn't Jasper just told me? He'd known it had been weighing on my mind the entire length of their absence. I wasn't quite sure why Edward suddenly found value in Jasper's opinion either, but I made a mental note of it and stored it away for discussion later.

"That's not the point, Edward. Besides, did you really think that leaving without a word for over a week would fix this? Would fix us? Clearly you don't seem to know me as well as you think." I ran my hands through my hair in frustration before softening my tone. "Our marriage would never work out. Look at us now. We barely talk anymore and when we do it's all so shallow. I don't know who we were trying to fool in thinking we could last an eternity together if we couldn't even work as a couple under the stress of an impending marriage. I don't want to resent you, Edward, but that's the only way things will work out if we keep doing this. You're not stupid, you've seen the deterioration of this relationship too."

His jaw clenched and unclenched. He seemed almost panicked. "We can work through it, we've just hit a few bumps along the road."

Looking down, I slowly shook my head not wanting to see his expression as I did so. There was silence. His cold hand cupped my face and my eyes finally met his. He seemed resigned as though he knew this was inevitable.

"When did this all fall apart?" He seemed to murmur to himself. "Everything was fine until…"

His eyes were suddenly narrowed and he was looking at me searchingly. "I knew I smelled him on you earlier. Did Jasper tell you he loves you, is that it? Did he confess to having all these sweet little feelings for you, the silly human who he almost killed? Wake up Bella, he's using you. He doesn't care for you."

I took a step back. "What? Jasper told me-"

The words "nothing of that sort" died on my lips as I took in the furious, almost unhinged expression on my once-fiancée's face. When he spoke his voice rose in volume word by word. "He told you? What exactly did he tell you, Bella? It's lies, all of it. He's trying to paint himself as innocent you know, so that you're loyal to him and only him."

Edward didn't seem to register the confusion on face because he kept going, his hands balled into fists. "He's guiltier than anyone of us. That man in there is a monster. While we might've gotten close to you on account of your gift, it was all because of _him._ He conveniently forgot to mention that part, didn't he? _He_ was the one who invaded our home and has been using Alice's gift to find someone of your talent. He's using you, you foolish girl. He's using you for his army. Were you really so silly to think that his interest in you had nothing to do with that shield of yours?"

I stood, frozen. Not fully able to comprehend what he was saying to me, but not quite able to tune it out either. Liquid pooled in my eyes and Edward's hands gripped my arms in a bruising hold as he began to shake me. "You stupid girl, you've fallen into his trap. He wants you for revenge. He wants to use you to kill his sire. You're not important to him. You know nothing about the type of monster he is."

My eyes were swimming as I took another step back from Edward, head shaking in denial. Unfortunately, it all made sense though. The truth had been there right in front of me the entire time. The Cullens had allowed him to do what he wanted to shape and mold me according to his tastes, all under the guise of preparing me to be a vampire. The lack of protests on their part suddenly made sense; the way Jasper and I would conveniently end up alone together without another vampire hovering beside us. It wasn't as though Jasper had tried to hide it. _You could say I have a stake in your afterlife._ Jasper's words rang in my head. How many times had he alluded to having some kind of stake in what became of me? In his own words, he had been 'protecting his investment'. I'd been used this entire time. So what did that mean? Was my marriage going to be a sham too? Did Edward simply want to marry me so it would bind me to him? All this time they'd told me vampires were horrible creatures, but I'd refused to believe it. Now it was plain as day that they saw me as nothing more than a weak human with an easily moldable mind. I took in a sharp breath trying to quell the anguish clawing at me.

"She was supposed to be mine." Edward snarled, alerting me of a new presence. My head shot up and I caught sight of the Cullens and Jasper standing there. My gaze zeroed in on the blonde vampire responsible. His expression remained stony and his cold and angry eyes looked on back at me. The rest of the Cullens maintained unreadable expressions and a strangled cry escaped my throat.

"None of this was real?" I whispered, unsure I could hold myself together enough to talk any louder. It didn't matter, they all heard me. Their silence was the only answer I needed. Resolutely, I nodded to myself, refusing to let them see me break down. I curled my hands into fists, trembling with the terrible burden of both rage and anguish. With unrestrained resentment, I spat at their feet.

Carlisle had the decency to look away from me. His gaze zeroed in behind me on Edward who was crouched and glaring at Jasper. "Calm down, son."

Edward seemed beyond reason and just snarled in response before lunging, seeming to forget about my presence between the two parties. With a sharp blow, I ended up being thrown away, my body landing ten feet from them.

Laying on the floor, pain ripped through my side in a breathtaking wave of discomfort and I gritted my teeth. A long rumble sounded and then there were the tell tale noises of vampire clashing with vampire. Jasper's voice barked an order. "Get her, make sure she's alright."

I forced myself up only to see Edward lunging at Jasper, who side stepped every attempt. A frantic Carlisle and Esme were trying to force themselves between them and reason with their son who was surely going to be killed if he kept up with his attempted attacks. Alice, Rosalie, and Emmett all turned in my direction, darting towards me. My heart started racing as panic set in, as they closed in around me, blue flashed out from me and suddenly they were flying back.

"Fuck!" I heard someone curse.

This was my chance, I could get away from them. With a pained gasp, I forced myself up and began running, hoping that my shield would remain up. I couldn't outrun them, but so long as my shield remained up, I could at least try to get away from them. Every step I took caused a fresh wave of pain to wash over me until I was suddenly stumbling onto the floor and gasping. My shield flickered. Emmett stood at the side, watching me.

"You can't keep going like this forever, Bella." He reminded me. "It's gonna give and someone will be standing right here."

My breaths were short and jagged as my shield finally flickered out of existence. Suddenly I was in Emmett's grip. Screaming and struggling was of no use so instead I just glared at him and tried to focus on getting my shield up. Closing my eyes, I tried to search for the power that made it appear.

"Go on and try to help Carlisle and Esme calm Edward down. He's not going to help anyone by going and getting himself killed by Jasper. I'll take her inside." I heard Emmett call out to Rosalie and Alice before he started leading us into the house. The second we got in, he dropped me onto the couch before erupting into a flurry of movement. Quickly, he was grabbing things from all over before stuffing them into a bag.

"Come on, Bella." He motioned. I looked at him, unsure of what exactly I was seeing. Emmett stood crouched, motioning for me to get on his back. "We don't have time, get on my back. It's the only way."

Desperately, I clung onto the hope that was blooming in me. I didn't want to dare dream that he was helping me, but I couldn't think of any other conclusion. With rushed steps, I threw myself onto his back, locking my arms in front of him. Securing the bag onto his side and gripping my arms, he headed towards the back door. The second we hit outdoors, he broke out into a sprint. It was unlike the speed that I'd ever experienced a vampire go before and I knew that he was pushed by desperation. If he was caught, he was just as screwed as I was.

Wind whipped at me face as we all but flew through the dense foliage, eventually breaking out into an actual town, although it wasn't anywhere I was familiar with. He hadn't been running all too long; hiding under the cover of trees of what I'm sure was wooded area in Olympic National Park. I wondered how far we'd gone in that time. Nonetheless, running wasn't a viable option anymore as we'd exited the forested area and now the trees were too sparse and there were too many roads and buildings. It would've been fine had we not been running, quite literally, for our lives. Emmett set me down before grabbing my hand and leading me into the streets. He was scanning the area and took a deep sniff before zeroing nodding to himself. With a hurried step, he led me out to where the people were, accidentally bumping into a middle aged man in a grey coat on the way.

"I'm sorry, sir." He apologized, reaching out and holding the man to steady him.

"It's fine." The man waved off Emmett's apology before hurrying away. Questioningly, I looked over at Emmett and he grinned at me, holding up a set of keys. Understanding dawned on me, he'd just pick pocketed someone. I wasn't sure whether to be amused or guilty. Now wasn't the time for a guilty conscience to come into play so instead I cracked a small smile and gestured for him to go on.

We stopped in front of a nondescript Volkswagen and Emmett unlocked the doors, both of us hurriedly getting in before peeling down the street. My eyes felt heavy and I tried to fight the sensation, determined to pay attention and remain alert, but slowly I began to drift off.

.:.

"Bella," Emmett's voice was soft as he called my name. Groggily I opened my eyes and surveyed my surroundings, only to realize we were at an airport. Emmett reached to the back of the car and pulled out the bag he had packed while still in the Cullens house before thrusting it towards me. "Take the next flight out of here. Go somewhere far and then some. Do whatever you can to put him off your trail."

"You're not coming with me?" I asked, suddenly guilty. He smiled sadly at me and shook his head.

"I can't, Bella. If anything, I'd only endanger you more. If you can somehow work out this shield of yours, it could throw him off your trail. There's not much I can do for you aside from this. In the bag is all the cash we had in the house, pain medication, and clothes. It was all I could really put together."

This entire time, I hadn't been sure what to say to him and now we suddenly had an impending goodbye. I took the bag from his hands before throwing my arms around his neck. He seemed taken aback as though he hadn't expected me to want to touch him. His thick arms wrapped around me in return.

Pulling away, he looked me in the eyes. He hesitated for a second. "Look, what Edward said… it wasn't all as clear cut as that. I'm sorry."

I remained quiet, unsure how to take his apology. It wasn't as though I could be mad at him after he risked his own life to save mine, but I still didn't know how to stomach the fact that he knew the entire time. Perhaps he was right though and it wasn't all so simple.

"I love you, Em." I murmured giving him a sad smile.

"I love you too, Bells." His voice was thick with emotion as he spoke and he crushed me to his chest in another embrace. His words and hold on me soothed the aching wounds of my heart. With a reluctant sigh, he released me. "Now go Bella, hurry. Get as far from here as you can."

I stepped out of the car.

 **A/N: So it's been a while. Hopefully the extra long and uhh... dramatic chapter makes up for that. Tell me what you guys think, I know there's a lot thrown at you in this chapter and my initial plan had been to have things a little more slow progressing, but as I was writing it my plan kind of flew out the window. Hopefully none of you are confused about what happened-if you are, there should be more clarity in the later chapters! Poor Bella, huh? Happy reading!**


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